


No More Field Trips

by butimnotdeadyet



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Len is so done, Nth Earth Hijinks, Theft, not on Len's half, vague and one-sided coldflash?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7846714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butimnotdeadyet/pseuds/butimnotdeadyet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After this most recent trip to a new Earth, Leonard Snart has decided that he is no longer responsible for such missions, especially when Sara won't stop laughing at him and he keeps getting inducted into the life of his on-Earth counterparts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No More Field Trips

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure there are some more tags that I could probably add, but I don't want to advertise falsely, so, meh.

_ “Sara,”  _ Leonard’s voice came crackling through the comms speaker of the jumpship, _ “I swear to whatever deceitful god claims charge over thieves and assassins, if that door is not open when I get there, I’m not going down on you for a month.”  _

 

Clutching at her side and still breathlessly reeling from the display she had witnessed over the past several minutes, Sara managed to reply between bursts of laughter- “As if you would deny yourself the pleasure, Snart!” He snarled in reply and she paused, wishing the camera retro-fitted to his glasses allowed for a glimpse of his face instead of his line of sight. Or, better yet, provided a return display, so that her following pseudo-contemplative expression (chin stroked, lips pursed, brow arched) wasn’t lost to the blank walls of the ship.

“Or, maybe, you would and instead take them up on their offer. I bet it would have been a great dinner, and then you could curl up all nice and comfy with-”  

 

_ “Lance!”  _ and the perimeter alert sounded in time with his new warning.  _ “Open up so we can go home and pretend this entire day didn’t happen.” _

She complied, thumbing the gray slide-key until she heard the hydraulic  _ hiss _ of the aft doors parting to allow her disgruntled, and markedly disheveled, partner into the ship.

 

She adjusted her seat in the pilot’s chair to face him, mouth fighting to keep another bout of giggles- yes,  _ giggles _ , she couldn’t fight them- from forcing their way out.

“So. . . how are we going to explain this one to the team?”

 

“ _ We _ are going to do nothing. _ You _ will make it known that, from now on, any Nth Earth exploring can be left to those who have actual interest in the slightest possibility of finding out how the other version of them lives. This is the forth ti-  _ Damn it, Sara, stop laughing, I’m serious-  _ the fourth time that I have had to do this, and I. Am. Done.”

 

Sara, have lost control again, wiped tears from her eyes as the man threw himself into one of the passenger chairs with a gesture that very pointedly recommended that they be on their way. She turned, assuming that the standard ‘post-mission kiss’ was out of the question, and powered the engines with one last chuckle.

“You know, Len, they were pretty cute.”

His response was immediate.

 

“ _ Cute?!  _ Sara, they were like a trio of spider monkeys; I didn’t think I was ever going to get the little one off my leg! And don’t even get me started on  _ him,  _ hands  _ everywhere-  _ and not in my pockets like the rest of them.” 

 

“Hmm, and was that before or after he suggested that you-”

 

“Sara. Just fly the damn ship.” 

 

She smirked at him in response and pulled up wards on the controls, moving them into the air and then on their way with a deft hand. After they regained stability she flicked on autopilot and spun the chair to face the crook.

“Okay, but- and I swear I won’t tell- was he a good kisser? I have my suspicions, but you never _ really _ know until it's too late.”

Leonard scoffed, eyes rolling, unimpressed with the line of questioning, “He was adequate; with the others milling around he couldn’t . . .  _ invest _ himself very thoroughly.”

 

The remark about his willingness to give the benefit of the doubt that sprang to mind was quickly silenced by a startled jump and rushed self-pat down from her partner and the low string of curses that followed. 

“Sara, we need to turn around. Now.” 

 

She had felt her eyes go wide at his action, and they fell even wider at his demand. “What? Why?”

 

“Because one of the little heathens stole my watch-”

 

“Babe, it’s just a watch-”

 

“True. But he stole it just now. In the jump ship. Turn around.”

She did, and was greeted with the smug-looking smile and laughing eyes of a dark haired boy standing behind her in the small space between her chair and the consol. Several seconds passed with Sara’s mouth gaping open before she had the mind to reach past him a slam down the emergency stop, because kidnapping a ten year old was not part of today's agenda. 

“So,” the kid started, peering at Sara curiously while dangling Leonard’s watch loosely between his fingers, “I guess you’re kinda like my step mom? That’s cool.”

 

Nothing. Sara could think of nothing to say.

 

“Oh, and you should have seen his face when my dad kissed him! Dad’s face after it happened may have even been funnier though. . . It was hilarious! And Devan didn’t get what was happening so, even after Dad said that this one wasn’t  _ ours  _ and that he was sorry and was blushing  _ a lot, _ she wouldn’t let go. Oh! And then Hank just  _ had _ to nab his phone so I lifted his wallet. . .”

Sara was sure he kept talking but her brain was still processing the child’s features, trying to figure out  _ how  _ they had managed to produce a child that actually looked like  _ both  _ of them. Maybe this earth had a way? And how was he  _ here _ , Leonard had left them in town after a quick and awkward explanation.

 

A sigh from behind her pulled her attention long enough for her to face a exasperated Len, holding his hand out for the watch that was soon replaced around his wrist.

“Milo, meet Sara Lance, my partner. Sara, meet Milo Allen-Snart, my son on this Earth.”

And, with a flash of nearly invisible white lightening, Milo was in front of her, sticking out his hand for Sara to shake.

 

Once Milo was returned to a chagrined and apologetic parent and the pair were once again on their way back home Sara had to agree:

No more Nth Earth.

Specifically, no more Nth Earth field trips for Leonard. 

Especially, not to where his resident counterpart was apparently known for _kissing,_ being _married to,_ and _fathering children_ with not only Barry Allen, but an identical-to-their-Earth's-including-the-speed  Barry Allen with _adorable, sticky-fingered, superpowered children._

_ Yeah _ , no more field trips.

**Author's Note:**

> Sara's kinda jealous (because, come on, cute kids and a superhero?) and Len thinks it serves her right; she was howling in his ear while Barry was trying to find Len's tonsils with his very warm tongue.
> 
> Barry is actually closer to Len's age on this earth- about 36, and Milo's the oldest, then Hank, then Devan.
> 
> Closest thing to Coldflash I'll ever write, and its mostly just because I got the idea for Milo and he just refused to fit in the 'Cap Can' labeled box.
> 
> I have to go back to class tomorrow- which is actually today, because its almost 1am here.
> 
> *indeterminate, frustrated hand gestures*
> 
> Thanks,  
> Gin


End file.
